Thursday, August 20, 2009
Florence + the machine - Girl with one eye (Bayou Percussion version )
I can't stop listening to it <3
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I'm sad to hear you are having difficulties w/ your ear again, I hope things get better soon.
It's 14 C˚ & 12:30 in the middle of the night. Last I was out it was getting a bit misty. I'm listening to Tori's Boys For Pele, though I am supposed to be listening to this band called TheTrees, or it might be The Trees. I am supposed to review them for my blog but I'm not in the mood, so here I am where all my blogging started.
I suppose I took a bit to get back to you too, then again, do we count the weekends? I don't think either of us has ever posted on the weekend.
Californians have the least reason to complain about weather--along the coast @ least--but might complain more than anyone. Our weather is pretty static. I've been in SF for 10 years & I don't think it has ever been colder than 30 F˚--32 F˚ is 0 C˚. I'm pretty sure it hasn't been hotter than 95 F˚--that's a 65 F˚ difference from the hottest point of the hottest day compared to the coldest point of the coldest night. That's pretty temperate if you ask me. But we are used to such minimal change that we complain all of the time.
I have to interrupt myself & get back to Tori for a bit. Listening to this album really takes me back to hight school. I used to listen to it so much. I forget, or am often not in the mood to remember, how much it gets through me. It's hard focus when it's on & I'm susceptible to it's magic. Caught a Light Sneeze is on now, which might, forever--now--remind me of you, lite_sneeze. :)
On The Velveteen Rabbit quote: I see the question "does it mean having things that buzz inside you & a stick-out handle?" followed w/ the Horse's answer as the Horse's clarification that it is not what is inside you that you are made of. In other words, not what you are made of, but how you use it. I find it funny how the Horse says, "…not just to play w/." I see this as a sort of metaphor--Hey, Jupiter is on so I'll pause, if I don't ask you about this track, remind me to. So, yeah, it's a metaphor to lovers who don't want to love. Even though we are discussing a toy, there is more that can be had. Like in a romantic relationship, though lust is important, there is other aspects that are important. When the Horse says, when you are real you don't mind being hurt, means when the love is real, you can forgive. So that's my take, Iza. I am now curious about your thoughts. I am, too, curious to what it was that made you ask. I hope that you can remember.
I want to commend you on your openness & attempt @ understanding your parents. As for the bit about the film, you lost me. On respect, it's true, once it's gone there is little hope & regaining respect is harder than gaining it in the first place. However, I disagree that love is a chance to be perfect. To the contrary, actually, it should be a chance to be flawed & an encouragement to be perfect. I want to say that again; love is the chance to be flawed & an encouragement to be perfect. That, however, is only one side of it. On the other side, it is the encouragement given to be the best one can be, & the understanding, & acceptance, of ones shortcomings. Love is described as, a strong affection. But what does that mean? To me, it is simply defined as someone I want to know for the rest of my life, someone I want to know always. It isn't hard to feel love for another, though, it is hard to continually love someone. True love is not easy, it is not simple, it takes effort; though, when you really love someone you make the effort. I wrote something recently, it hasn't been edited & it's long, but I'd like to paste it in here for you to read anyway.
She seems to have made up her mind,
she wants to be left alone for a while
a month, she said?
For now that's what she seems to want.
Maybe you can do that for her,
I don't know.
& I've been there too
I know that sometimes staying friends is hard
& I know that wanting to be stay friends
is strong sometimes.
You say you are immature,
& after todays back & forth
I don't entirely disagree.
However, I do see trying to stay friends
as the mature thing to do.
You tried, but it's not taking.
If she can't do it now
you have to ask yourself
if you can let her be until she can.
I'm sure you both did bad things
we all have.
But you are not together
& if you wanted to be a friend,
and if you are really over it,
you have to treat her as a friend.
You have to give her her space
& give her her time.
It's easy for us to bring all the bad
from an old relationship
into a new one,
& lover to friend
is a new play
w/ old actors.
But a new story,
Perhaps you are not ready
to be just friends,
but that's your decision.
Maybe you don't feel you should have to wait,
again, your decision.
As I see it,
that relationship is over
& you are trying to start something new,
What seeds will you sow,
those from a poor season
or something plentiful?
I'll leave you w/ that. Get better, cara.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Then again I am way to late with responding to you . I was thinking about the right reason why actually I postponed writing the post , but I can’t come up with any idea that actually has some sense – I guess I was simply tired and I didn’t feel like writing. I am so sorry.
Therefore I may be a little out of context – you probably know how it works . I read the post long time ago and a lot of things took place since then and I was occupied with a lot of stuff that wasn’t strictly connected with the things you were writing about . And I am sorry again , I start feeling guilty as you may start to think I don’t want to write the blog with you anymore , or I don’t like you or whatever you want to think bad about me , but whatever you think it is – it’s not . I hope you accept my apologies .
Hahaha , SF weather . I always thought there’s always sunny in California and you actually don’t complain about the weather ^^ .
1.Anita is 7h and a half hours away – by the way , it’s nice to think about the distance in hours , not in kilometers or miles , I do like it ^^ .
2. I am not blond naturally , my hair is naturally just brown , without any revelation I guess.
3.I do agree on the whole ‘we try to keep an active life style & do a some exercise’ thing , but as you probably already know , it doesn’t usually work as it should as we promise to ourselves that we will lead better life etc. and then in practice it’s just not working because we usually permit ourselves not to treat this decision so serious and we forget about the details and so on . And then we complain *smiles* .
4. The wedding was just a job and I had really nice time , even though I was incredibly tired.
That’s all I remember from the last post , and I am sorry it wasn’t probably the ‘interaction’ you expected from me – and I am sorry again .
Anyway , I’d like to show you the quotation from the book I am reading right now – ‘Little Earthquakes’ by Jennifer Weiner . It’s not the great piece of work – I’d compare it to Brigdet Jones’ Diary , but it’s the story not of one woman , but there’s actually 5 of them . I am a woman so I do like to read this kind of stuff from time to time , it really helps to relax.
So, the book begins with the piece of the other book , ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’ by Margery Williams.
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender , before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made” said the Skin Horse. “It’s thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt” .
Tell me what u think about it , I’m asking out of curiosity.
Talking about love – today I asked my mom what did she feel when my dad moved out of the house . It happened few years ago , but I think that unofficially they stopped being together when I was 11.
I wanted to know if she felt sorry , if she was sad , if she regretted that , if she wanted to change it – whatever did she felt. I wanted somehow relate it with my situation – even though my boyfriend did not moved out , but somehow he was living ‘in me’ and it’s like I doesn’t want to let him go. On Monday I was watching the movie called ‘Lonely people’ and there was the guy , who was all the time on drugs , but he said really good thing . While he was driving he said to the girl that was next to him , that he can see the light-blue aura that surrounds people , it consists of little lights that are sent from people who love you because each person gives you a piece of their soul and when you love somebody you give it too . But you can’t have it back, even if you’re not with the person anymore . Therefore you give a piece of your soul and you can’t replace it , that’s why you feel sad sometimes about the broke up. So I was refering to that somehow and wanted to know that from my mom, if she felt similar like I do right now . Maybe she didn’t love him anymore , but she could have missed him – they get used to living together , that’s how people work . But then , she replied me , that actually she felt relief and in her opinion it was definitely too late when he moved out because she started even to hate him and despise him . She said that it was the worst ending they could have had , because they stopped respecting each other. And then , then I thought about the conversation I had with my ex on facebook , and I thought that he didn’t show any respect then . Love is a condition when you are given an opportunity to be perfect , right ? But it works only when you respect someone . So when you do not respect the person you think you love then the person stops being flawless and the more you talk with him/her , the more drawbacks you start to notice .
And then I thought that maybe I am finally over this guy . It’s high time I got over him.
I don’t know if you understand what I mean , because it may sound a little bit twisted but I had no idea how to say that , but I tried to be clear ^^ .
This post, It’s way too long .
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Sounds like you would like "an SF weather." It's funny cos I always think of the UK as super cloudy. I like overcast days & people tell me that I would love London, but that is only one city. I never been, unless you count my stop off in Heathrow. It's 19 C˚ over here today & was similar yesterday, it would have been quite nice yesterday had I not worn a jacket. But I did & was running all over town, way too hot.
Even if you don't think you can write I'd still like for you to send me stuff, even if it's old or bad, & especially if it is confusing or doesn't make sense! You don't have to post it here, but I like your perspective on things. You could just send me your thoughts on things, it doesn't have to be in a lyrical format; I like being co-creators. *winks* You think in a magical way, it seems. I will definitely use things you write. Be warned that what I write, based on things you write, will not necessarily be thoughts about you. I tend to like extremes &, in turn, add a fair amount of drama & exaggeration. I also tend to mix multiple parts of my life & the lives around me to come up w/ something compelling & complex. Well, that's the idea @ least. "Something great," like I always do?? How sweet! Thank you. You are just dishing out all kinds of sweet things these days. I know you are busy & hope to hear something soon. I'm curious about your creative process? How do you go about working on music? What are your steps in composition? I'd like to help in any way.
You are online & sending me messages. *excited expression* I'll be back. ;)
Wow, I am so glad I gave you my full attention for that brief chat. I'm all sorts of wow'd. You are more than welcome to discuss you're musical ideas w/ me. I was trying to say that, but you caught me off guard w/ that complement & floored me.
I hope you enjoy your semi-vacation in the Red Dot. ; ) Take your violin w/ you. *winks* I'd like to explain these little emoticons, as they are called. When I use them they are more how I feel or to show the tone of sentence. Though when I put something in asterisks [ * ], it is something I have physically done.
I can not express how happy I am that you take what I mean as I mean it, & don't fabricate possible negativity. It is so easy to take things the wrong way online. Yesterday's video instance is a perfect example. It might be two days ago for you, or even three by the time you read this. A nine hour difference makes for some confusing references to time. :)
Great story! I'm glad you didn't do what I asked & include random details; that would have totally ruined the pacing. :) Is Anita 7 & a half hours away or 7 hours & 50 minutes. We don't use commas in time here, so I'm not sure if that is a typo, or just a difference in punctuation. Okay, so here is a little detail that you did include that I absolutely love: "the bag that didn't match & all." It puts an image in my mind as well as a bit about what you would generally do or think about. I'd like to see you when you look horrible. I also like the line w/ tears & thinking where to go, very visual. I suppose drawers are better than under pillows, but not as cute. *winks*
Nothing is wrong w/ Mussorgsky, what makes you think that something is wrong w/ him?? :) I just heard him for the first time that night & was wondering if you had heard of him? I suppose I should just assume you know any Composer worth knowing, you little scholar, you! :)
Having your word is a big deal, like, so big. I have such expectations now. I would hate to see--I don't even want to think--uh--hm… I have no reason not to trust you, Iza. Please understand I hold people to their word, & I'll be shattered should you break yours. Actually, after our chat today, I have a lot of confidence in you, & your ideals. Many say things they don't mean, but, cara, your "trust credit" is very high. I supposed I was trying to prevent you from making a deal you don't want to make, though, it's something we are both going to be held to, not just by each other but the world wide web--well, if we ever get any followers. ;)
I'm short too; we are the right size to be dance partners! As for body shape we've already discussed, & you know how I feel about it. Also the fat/skinny thing should be mentioned. The way I see it, so long as we try to keep an active life style & do a some exercise, I don't think we should worry too much. Sure, most of us have more fat than we should, & could use more muscle tone. So that's my take on that. Even if you have short legs, I wouldn't say they are "too short." You seem proportionate to me. I have long legs & a very short torso. I don't want to be taller, though I would like a longer torso. Anyway, I don't see how this makes you look any less nice in jeans, but I'm not one to say, don't wear dresses, so carry on. I really like that image, not just you, but the image as a whole. The light is beautiful in Poland. Who took it? If you have a high quality file somewhere, that could be our album cover. There is so much innuendo. Or maybe I'm just reading into things as I often do. Uoo, & the back could have me in the doorway of my place w/ the track listing on my wall. It will seem as if we are looking @ each other, though we will both be in our own parts of the world. I'll wear a pink dress too! Okay, just kidding, I'm not likely to do that. I once told a girl-friend I had never worn a dress & she was shocked for some reason. Later she dared me to put on one of hers during a sort of drinking version of Truth or Dare game. I couldn't get it over my shoulders so, I was just kinda stuck w/ my arms coming out of the top & my head where my chest should be. But yeah, that's a great image & you look nice w/ dark hair too. Thank you for sharing.
Did you tell me once that you are blonde naturally? I don't care for blonde hair, or I don't care for dyed blonde hair. Then again anything can be good if it's right for the person. Though, as I said, I'm a sucker for dyed red hair, I blame cartoons and comic books. Have you re-dyed your hair yet? I'm curious about your new red-brown.
History is awesome when you have the right teacher, sadly, I rarely did. It's interesting to learn from our mistakes. I have no interest in what year some country went to war, or the date, or who won & when. I do, however, see value in learning why a country went to war & how they could have avoided it, so that we can avoid them in the future, or any other lessons to learn. When we first started this blog, we spoke of the Polish accent, I tried to find it online, but was distracted by The History of Poland in 10 Minutes--what a waste of ten minutes. It was more a timeline of Polish war than a history lesson.
I had a felling you would mention a camera. I'd prefer you to write though, for the sake of our album @ least. I smoke too, though not usually during the day. I have kinda stopped as I'm broke, but who knows I could give in @ any time. Besides, smoking is cool & sexy, more children should smoke! I'm just kidding. Health aside, it's terribly addictive & costly, not to mention bad for the environment. I'd consider any non-smoker lucky. Why do you hate when someone brushes against you? That is so funny. How long ago did you start riding the trains? Again, confused my commas. Thank you for all of those answers; you really didn't have to do that. I think I mentioned that you didn't have to. Though, I am really happy you did. I really like your willingness to share.
This is way too long already, I'll try to throw in pieces of LA & SF other times. Thanks so much for the offer, Iza. Poland just shot up on my list of places to visit. I might take you up on that offer, one day, but it will be far from now. You can stay here too, though I live in the front room of a one bedroom apartment. However, sometimes, like now, I don't have a room-mate so there is an empty room. Seriously, you should visit before school starts, the weather is about to get perfect for you! You could use a break from children & animals, & I am w/o both. *smiles*
Tell me about this wedding? Do you know the people or is this a job?
Let's Play Some Music !
Albums I listened to while typing this way long entry:
Some nice strings for your creative nurture by Radiohead
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Since yesterday we got an awesome weather . I call it 'an English weather' , because there's sunny outside , but not so hot , it's windy and actually It's a perfect weather for me ^^ .
I got an idea - I can't write lyrics , but it seems you got a thing for that stuff so you have my permission to use any line I write , change it however you like , just use you're imagination and create something great, like you always do . I didn't make any music yest - I'm busu with little children there , and with my dog and cat and I am exhausted . Seriously , I need few days off , to get out of the house to the place where's no animals , no children and no toys. Fortunately I found the right place - my friend offered to invite me over his place for few days , so next week I'll have few days of calm and peace . To be honest I can't wait for that .
Thank you for the explanation of my usage of the word 'literally' ^^ you're right , I like to know such linguistic stuff ^^ . And of course you exactly get my point there *smiles*.
The Ticket trip ... So , it's a long and kinda crazy story . It happened on friday. I woke up and I was chatting with my friend , Anita . She lives 500 km away [ the trip there takes 7,5h if you take the train ] but we're really good friends. She mentioned , that there's not so many ticket left for the Tori gig and I should buy it before it's all sold out . I am crazy about Tori , so I started to panick that I will have money not before september and it may be too late . My mom told me I have to wait from the cash transfer for my dad and then she may lend me the money I need , but then my dad called me he won't do the transfer before monday . I got angry, becuse my mom still didn't want to give me the cash . When I finally got it , I wanted to buy ticket via the Internet , but then It turned out that I can't do that because the site, where the tickets are being sold doesn't work with the bank I have account in , so the only way to buy the ticket was to go to the point there they sell them . I found an adress of the place I can buy ticket in , in the Mikolow - the city I live in. Without any explanation I get out of the house - I just put on something , take the bag that didn't mach at all , didnt do my hair , any make up - I looked like horrible , I swear. But it didn't matter , I was so excited about the ticket that anything was more important then. When I got there , the woman there told me that the computer is broken and she couldn't sell me the ticket. With my eyes filled with tears , I started to think intensively where else I could go. I called my sister and asked her if she can check other points with the tickets that are around . When she gave me the adress , I jumped into the bus to the Gliwice - by bus , the ride takes about 1h . So finally , i found the record shope where they sold me the ticket , then I had to go back home. That's why it took me so long ^^ . But I got it hidden deep in my drawer and I can't wait for the gig *smiles* .
Of course I know Mussorgsky - I passed an exam in history of music on an advanced level , i got 80% , so I think I am quite good at that ^^ . What's wrong with him ? *smiles*
Well , making an album is a big challenge for both of us and I think 'you have my word' was used right in this case . All in all , we're making a great deal and it requires a great trust credit .
I love dresses ! It caused by few reasons . Firstly , I am not a tall girl , I got just 164 cm [ about 5'4" ] and I'm not a skinny girl . I mean , I am not extremely fat or smoething - I have really feminine body shape and some things I have to hide *smiles* so I do look much better in dresses than in jeans . My legs are simply too short ;D . Secondly , I like to look like a girl - and dress faciliates to do that a lot ! ^^ My favourite dress is the pink one - let me show you the picture . Plus, you can see me there in the dark hair ^^ .
Yaaay , I am glad I made you happy with the whole map idea. And it's so great that you're really itnerested in all those funny details . I think I should start to take the camera with me and take the pictures for you . Next time when I'm on train , I'll take tons of photos for you so you can see everything ^^ . Don't worry , I won't tell you any historical facts , because I don't know that - I am not a fan of history at all . And it's simply boring .
So I'll try to answer all your question .
When I take the train I'm usually 15 mins before the train arrives so I light up a cigararette [ I am a bad smoker ] and sit on the bench , listening to music . When the train arrives , I find a place which is not occupied and where are no people next to - I hate when I have to sit next to someone strange and accidentaly the person touches me with the bag etc. I hate it with passion. I take the sit next to the window . The train stops on the proper stations . Some are really small, some big, but it's never just a platform next to the road. Actually I started riding train about 1,5 yr ago, so it didn't have a chance do change a lot ;D . Of course I rode the train before, but just occasionaly and it seems it looked similar. But my mom told me that when she was younger the trains were much cheaper than nowadays. Still , sometimes is much cheaper to take the train than to go somewhere by car. The train stops on the station by itself , you don't have to push/pull anything. Sometimes I read in the train , I used to do maths and English in the train while I was riding to school , or coming back from school .
The second hand store ... it depends on the city and the store . In Zabrze there's one huge 2ndhand store , it's situated in the hall where used to be ... slaughterhouse. But it was really long long time ago . Though everyone still calls the place 'Slaughterhouse' - in Polish it's Rzeznia . The whole place is tiled and quite weird,spooky and unpleasant, but there's a lot of things. There's of course no display windows. But 2ndshops in Mikolow looks like casual boutiques , with a display windows where are usually some manequines in random dresses , blouses etc . There are dressing rooms , but it's nothing special - like everywhere else , a mirror and a small dress hanger on the 'wall' of the dressing room . I never pay attention how many cashiers is there , and generally i don't have to stay in the line for long time - few mins .
I know why you're asking and I totally understand you - it's completely different continent and like we know - the devil is in the details . ^^
i wouldn't mind if you tell me something that you find interesting about SF & California , because frankly I don't know what to ask about , I have to many questions about everything . So anything you can tell me would be good .
And If you want to visit Poland , you can always stay at my place. And I am being serious about this proposition *smiles* .
Its 4pm there and I have to go to play the violin - I play on the wedding at the church on saturday and I have to prepare something .
Monday, August 3, 2009
This was going to be called "144 days!" As in the amount of time until we release our LP. But I don't want it to seem like this pressure or deadline. I'll just wait until I'm done writing to title this like I usually do.
So the weather was verging on my idea of perfect today 19 C˚ Sunny but w/ patchy clouds & just enough wind to tussle my hair & make me think I look really sexy walking down the street. Of course there is always a car window to remind me what I look like & shatter the fantasy. *shrugs*
Goodness, Iza! This is so many great lines in your last post. I'm not sure if I should ask you to send me more lyrics/poems from your youth or if I should just take bits & pieces of your letters & turn them into something. I almost got something from "68 days !" but it was too weak or I was not thinking hard enough. I think it's best I just collect the lines I like until something solid comes together. You could could also send me more writing. *smiles hopefully*
Company has arrived, I'll be back.
So it's like 10 hours later & I'm back @ about 3:15 in the morning. I don't know where I was so I'm just going to go to the reply part of this. Your hands were not literally heavy. You were weak from your sickness, so weak that your hands felt heavy. They were the same weight they always are, so the word literally should not be used there. These days some people are using literally like an exclamation point, I'm pretty sure that's not how you mean to use it & I know about your strive to perfect your english. I'm just saying this cos I think you would want to know. I'm pretty sure I know what you mean, that they literally felt heavy. I don't think you are being awkward, you were sick & just woke up from a nap. That seems pretty normal to me. I hope your ear is better by now.
What was so crazy about your trip to get tickets? Why did it take 5 hours?
We've talked about the album. I don't know if you like to work w/in themes but I think some of the themes we should have are Dual Perspectives--just like our blog--& Internet Communication--both as a reflection of the times, but also because of our past w/ long distance relationships & finally as it's our mode of communication. I also hope that we can consciously take inspiration from the romantic area, as that seems to be our strongest musical connection. I hope this helps w/ whatever you do to clarify a piece & doesn't seem confusing. Speaking of romantic music do you know Modest Petrovich Mussorgsky? The phrase "you have my word" means a great deal to me so I'm going to assume you are just using it as an expression & wont hold you to it. But next time I won't let you off so easily. :)
I'd love to see your dresses, not enough girls wear dresses. Second hand stores are awesome, been shopping there for over a decade.
This is so long, so I'm going to try to wrap it up. First: Great idea, I want to know everything about where you are! Second: I love, LOVE, maps, so thank you, truly. Let me explain what I mean by everything as best as I can. I have no interest in facts & little interest in history--unless it is your personal history--because I am not likely to remember that stuff. I want to know the details. When you take a train to Zabrze do you wait on a bench or do you stand; does the train stop @ proper stations or are they more like platforms on the side of the road, or both; if they are on the side of the road is there a bench, does it have a little roof, or just a sign; is there lots of seating or do you often stand; have the trains changed much from when you started riding them; do you have to push a button or pull a cord to stop, or do they stop everywhere; is there a lot of graffiti, what's a lot; do you read on the train; is it a bumpy ride; does it smell like anything; is it electric or gas? When you go to the second hand store is there a parking lot; what are the display windows like; what is sold there; is the floor carpet or tile, if carpet is it short; are there dressing rooms, what are they like; how many cashiers are there, are they nice; do you wait long in line; do you get bags or boxes for your purchases; if bags, what are they made of and is the bad made for the second hand store, or is it just a plain old bag? Please understand I'm not asking cos I care about how much gum is on your sidewalks or if your dressing rooms have mirrors, I ask cos I want to know what your world is like. I realized that these little things that we just assume are the same everywhere you go, are not the same. I don't want you to answer all of those questions, that'd be kinda crazy, but when you answer my question about your crazy trip to get tickets throw in some details that seem normal or average. I know it's hard, I'm sitting here thinking of what I could say as an example. I think out of context of a story, it might seem odd. It's verging on 4:30 am.
Deradoorian of Dirty Projectors